My motivation is always love, joy and humour
“You must never allow the behaviour of anyone else to lower your standards and you should avoid judgement of their actions. Also, when we share, we multiply our joy by the number of friends who benefit”. It is a lesson that Mercedes have never forgotten. This interview with her reveals an unforgettable story.
Interview by Lena Zechner
Can you remember any lessons from your experience of childhood?
Yes – most of them! One stands out, however, because it had two blessings in one. I noticed that some of my childhood friends did not share as many of their treats with me, as I had been taught to share with them. One day, after my mother had thwacked my single, treasured and rare barley sugar into as many, sugary splinters as the number of small children present, I asked her why I shared my sweets and others had not. I was around six years old, and happy to give, but was puzzled by the anomaly. My sweet, saintly mother stooped to my level and placed an arm gently around my shoulders and whispered: “You must never allow the behaviour of anyone else to lower your standards and you should avoid judgement of their actions. Also, when we share, we multiply our joy by the number of friends who benefit”. It was a lesson in life I have never forgotten. Love was at the core of all of my mother’s influences and subtle tuition and became the thread which held together every thought, intention and action.
“You must never allow the behaviour of anyone else to lower your standards and you should avoid judgement of their actions. Also, when we share, we multiply our joy by the number of friends who benefit”.
How did you experience your teenage years?
In absolute duality: my mother said ‘yes’ to everything, my father said ‘no!’ Of course, you can guess to whom I went for answers regarding days out with friends or shopping treats. My mother was a facilitator, one who felt life was to be lived in the fullest, purest, most altruistic joy. My father was very generous at home and we had all – and more – that we needed; but he was more traditional in his parenting and was a stern disciplinarian. Both parents did their best for me and my brother and only in adulthood did I see how selfless, and wisely protective my father had been towards me. I had the best childhood imaginable and my father’s rigid guidelines saved me from the reckless, teenaged days, when some of my more liberated friends fell into big problems.
When and how did you notice your special gift of empathising?
When I was able to hold my first baby cousin in my arms and saw the helpless vulnerability of a cute bundle of wobbling chubbiness. I was around four years old, and wanted to mother that little fellow for life. He felt like my baby. That care and empathic, maternal connection became the deepest adoration for him and, later, for all his younger, baby brothers and all other children, then it spread to my seeing the child in most adults. I could see the element of yearning, sweet toddler in most grown-ups and it is that which I wished to nurture, protect and inspire.
I could see the element of yearning, sweet toddler in most grown-ups and it is that which I wished to nurture, protect and inspire.
Most people crave love, security and comfort – we never really grow out of a need to be cared for and cosseted by someone who really wants us to be happy; yet, we deny that need in order to conform to a rigid, icy society. We become suspicious, through fear and cynical programming, and we lose vital support of the essence that is us. We allow ourselves to be seen from the outside shell of materialism and acquisition, but allow few to see the vulnerable child within. I can see that child, however old its adult, and my maternal instincts gush forth to embrace him or her with absolute, devotional purity.
Today, many have thousands of online friends, and yet no one to hug, touch, or kiss. That’s a tragedy and my fervent wish is to reunite man and womankind to openness, in admitting that we need the warmth and support of each other. There’s strength in unity and weakness in separation and we ignore this at our peril. It is better to look for deep similarities, like shared standards of education, humour, sport and cultural pursuits, than place importance on superficial differences, like skin colour, culture and national dress.
How did you gain a foothold in your career?
After a chance meeting with an amazing lady called Betty Shine, my career skyrocketed. She was an unknown healer at the time. I was working very hard and long hours in the retail industry, for a successful Managing Director of a large retail group. Betty looked at me with her x-ray, green eyed, laser precision, and asked me “Why?” I said, somewhat shallowly, that it paid school fees, my mortgage and allowed me to live pretty well. She asked if it had never occurred to me that I could be well paid and still enjoy my work. I was seeing her in my lunch hour for an old back injury.
I returned to work and handed in my notice. My boss refused to accept it for three weeks, but I stuck to my guns and left with goodwill. A short while afterwards, I was headhunted by a London agency representing the MD of a large, North American company. I accepted a fabulous job as executive assistant to the MD, and when he resigned soon after, I accepted Head Office’s offer to take over from him.
I was so impressed with Betty’s ability to help me to see my worth, that I started to help her spread her phenomenal gifts by having some of her workshops in my home and telling my friends about her. She became internationally famous soon after and we were great buddies right up to her death in 2002. Betty was one of the most amazing, healing genius I have ever known, and she mentored me for two decades in what she called ‘mind energy’. I now pass on what she, and my mother, taught me.
The other two major influences have been my grandmother, a subtle shaman who was very successful, and the other, a magical relative who prefers to remain private. For almost 150 years, generations of mothers on my maternal side, have faced major challenges to which there were unexpectedly miraculous outcomes. For instance, after I was told by my GP that my mother was ‘imminently terminal’ in the nineties, I applied all that I had learnt. My mother lived on for fourteen very happy years, confounding the medical profession, because she remained ‘terminal’, according to her frequent tests, despite enjoying life to the fullest.
From these influences, I learnt also that humility was strength and silence was a virtue. I learnt too that it was in pain and suffering that we experienced the greatest growth opportunities, if the lesson of the challenge could be found. All have helped me in my work in upgrading people’s individual genius, and helping their healing processes in overcoming broken relationships, bereavement and other losses, as well as mild, general depression. I was also blessed to help some achieve their biggest ambitions and back to wellness after health challenges.
What significance has family got in your life?
Big. So big, there are not sufficient noughts or space to contain such ‘significance’! My ‘family’ also extends to friends, some of whom I will never see in this lifetime. All are deeply loved, along with my biological relations.
How did your mother’s disease and passing away affect your approach to life?
I had an unrequested, unexpected ‘out of body’ experience in 1982, not long after meeting Betty, and was transported to a world of incredible light and an unspeakably beautiful Being, who told me of my future duties and that I had ‘to go back’. I also saw a lady there whom I knew was my maternal aunt – but I had never heard of her and nor had anyone else. I asked my mother the next morning about her, but she turned away, very upset, and refused to discuss the description I had given her.
Ten years later, my mother confessed she knew she would die soon and wanted me to know the truth about her life, because she said she could see that one day I would write about her and she needed the account to be accurate. I had been offered publication of my school essays by my English teacher, John Richardson, at my London school, and had turned down Betty’s invitation to write her life story. My mother said my third attempt to publish would involve her. Yet, at the time I had no such plans. Then she said the lady I had described WAS her sister, who died when she was very young, devastating my mother, who had buried the tragedy for six decades, until I had that remarkable experience. I realised, a full decade later, that I really had gone somewhere else.
In the meantime, during those ten years, my life took on new meaning and I experienced escalating successes on all levels. I made my man wish list and met my ideal match, in a very long and happy partnership. I moved into my dream home, lost weight, travelled a great deal and pushed my boundaries of learning to the limits. I became more clairvoyant and was able to see that what I had thought was love before my out of body experience, was a wan dilution of true, divine adoration, a quality which can be despatched to infinite distances to a person by a single thought, or reach an individual across a room by a love-fuelled glance. Touch was not necessary. I realised that life is eternal and I still feel the presence of many who have passed on, with some amazing confirmation of their continuing existence, comfort and guidance.
Where and how do you gain the energy to live positively?
By knowing I am an eternal, spirited Being, and by being more understanding of my fallible, ephemeral, high maintenance, human half. We are very complex creatures, and yet live under the banner of the insecure human, when the supremely gifted Being is there, permanently, as an illuminative guide and intuitive mentor. I also see people as my beloved ‘children’ and wish each one to excel. Love is a vibrant fuel for joy and I find amusement in simple things, especially what is said frankly by children and very old people, who have little verbal inhibition or social brakes. They are refreshingly frank, and usually laugh very easily. I also do my best to eat organic, vegan foods and remain hydrated.
How do you cope with obstacles and challenges?
With the attitude that ‘this too will pass’ while asking, ‘What is this teaching me?’ Then I distance myself from it, instead of allowing it to consume me. It is just an experience. It does not define me and it does not deserve to swamp me. I shrink it to a full-stop on a vast, imaginary wall, so I see it in its real perspective. Then I get on about my business and deal with it the best way I can.
Sometimes, things fall between the cracks, especially when we are maternal, champion jugglers, helping many people. We have to forgive ourselves when things go wrong, then do the best we can to remedy the situation, make amends with anyone affected negatively, and learn avoidance of repetition, as we move on as wiser, better people. Most importantly, when I find the overall golden nugget of the lesson, gratitude enters for the experience, and elevation out of the situation begins psychologically, after which reality often follows swiftly and the whole thing is archived in a very low ‘drawer’ of memory. There is no benefit in harbouring any form of negativity. We pluck thorns out of flesh, so why not also out of the psyche? Harbouring resentment, anxiety, fear and any form of negativity is like tucking a hot coal in the heart, and expecting someone else to get burnt. There is an easy, swift way to remove what fails to serve the senses, and it is the only way to effect real and lasting change.
What does love mean to you personally?
Everything. It is the one quality which is indestructible, for it comes automatically with its twin, its light, which fuels the heart and spirit. It is an abstract quality with infinitely great physical properties of strength, and a magical ability to heal and to inspire.
What part does travelling play in your life?
Less and less. Having travelled to dozens of different countries, from Austria, through Barbados, Hawaii and South Africa, it was once very enjoyable; today, it is less so, because of fear inflicted on a vastly, generally innocent public.
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Love (and its twin, light) life and laughter.
What do you appreciate most in life?
Love – being able to give it, and seeing it almost wherever I focus. When the heart is full of love, it creates new filters of vision, so that whatever we see is in sweeter focus and natural beauty leaps into the optic frame naturally and grows organically, without effort. We cannot give the fragrance of love from the heart, without its light filling our spirits.
Life – living in the present, and extracting as much joy as possible, from every situation. It helps to be able to see the infinite gifts of Nature, people, and blessings in our lives.
Laughter – finding humour from simple sources.
Having experienced so many things in your life, is there a wisdom that you can share with us?
There is so very much, which I do my best to cram into my mentorships, one to one Skype sessions, and seminars, but the one biggest thing I share with everyone is that we are all geniuses, capable of very great things, but we cannot change and upgrade simply by willing it or wish-listing it to happen. It is essential to unlearn old things and be so inspired by the new way of life we wish, or by the achievement of great ambitions, that a new ‘us’ is created. The old ‘us’ is never sufficient for real change to take place, and few know how to achieve this change quickly and effectively. This is why I prefer mentorships to one to ones.
Many well-meaning people will slip back into old ways, because they like familiarity – but change can be miraculous. That’s how a solicitor got her dream of being a radio presenter, how a mother got her son off heroin, how a banker found her dream job after a long spell of redundancy. Others have done similarly well, or better. These are real people, who stepped up to upgrade their genius. It’s how I ‘designed’ my husband, and my thirty year soul-mateship. The time between ‘design’ and reality was only weeks.
I can see the possibilities, and I show people their internal switch and dial of operation – and stay with them while they turn up that inner light. It is folly to foist new hopes onto old habits. A light has to be switched on to sweep out the old and usher in the new. It means being in a state of unfamiliarity for a short while – but it is in this state where magic happens, because our magnetism and charisma increase and we become more powerful radar, for better, bigger things, according to our wishes. My motivation is always love, joy and humour. Others may wish a new home, a baby or a better way of relating to a difficult youngster. I step in to upgrade people to be the best they can be, so that the right solutions appear more easily. That is what I love to see happen.
Finally, I also show people how to step up their contribution to the globe. Change is not down to others, whether the ‘others’ are influential politicians or activists, or anyone else ‘over there’. It is down to us, right here! By being more aware of how we live, shop, eat, love, and by how we educate our children, we can become that change. We are THAT powerful and we need to upgrade our genius right now, if we love our children enough to leave them a better, more secure, world legacy. All change starts inside – with you.
Mercedes Leal, Mentor, Healer, Speaker
www.mercedesleal.com 07785 247 992